Goodbye

​Just keep taking these chances 

I’m a hopeless romantic

Just hoping and praying someday that I will finally find the one

But I keep getting reruns of the same old shit 

Yep same old song come give me a new verse one that doesn’t  hurt 

One that sounds as sweet as the blue jays singing 

On the spring morning in Michigan 

Something is different this time

 My mind is blown my heart is cold and not sure I will ever shake this cloud 

The damage is on the surface though 

His ego couldnt peirce my soul 

Truth is I spotted his weaknesses a long time ago

He can’t be alone

Yet there is where I thrive.

So I was heavily prepared as sad as that is 

and when he said go, I gladly ablideged

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Just Let Me Be

Deep beneath my skin to the deepest part of me

there is a fire burning,

With extreme intensity.

 I can feel each flame burst

through my body each and every day. Oh how I thirst for peace at night when in bed I lay.

The anger and hurt a wrath of anxiety.

It takes every whit of my vigor to be social and step out into society.

It doesn’t matter where I resort or what I may consummate, 

it seems like all eyes are on me, 

just waiting to gossip,or simply aggravate.

Oh god tell to let me be,to live their own lives 

rectify their own immoralities.

How I crave to feel free,

to not harbor bad feelings and negativity, those which have led me to appear tainted and full of greif.

Joann Lynn Noppe copyright c 2003 

Energy never lies.

​I don’t even look for physical attributes or similarities of personality  in humans anymore because for me it’s  all about the vibe and  energy. Words can easily misinterpret someone’s heart, feelings and intentions. But vibes and energy don’t lie. Just being around beautiful energy is so refreshing and rejuvenating. There is nothing like building beautiful  energy orbs in a room full of like-minded  individuals and talking to  beings who radiate so much passion and intelligence that it brings our inner light out and the best thoughts and ideas you could ever think of. Those are the moments when you fall in love with life and everything it has to offer. Possibilities just rise from our subconscious minds and suddenly life seems so easy to conquer. Suddenly life is fun and lighthearted and all you want to do is surround yourself with these beautiful souls!

Incarcerated in my head

Deepest trouble I’ve ever known is the thoughts that circulate in my mind. Analytical or crazy sometimes I’m not even sure. I swear sometimes I feel incarcerated in my own head. How do I escape,how do I make them stop. The past ,the present the future and how each one affects the other. If I can’t let go of the past I risking destroying my present which utimatly affects my future.

So I pray real hard give it to God, give it to the angels, hell give it to someone because I don’t want them anymore . I want to live in the moment and I do but then they always circle back to the fucken betrayal and pain I endured from you.

I don’t want you to win and I truly thought I healed and every time some how you find your way back in my head. Creating doubts  and fears I try so hard to steer clear as I have forgiven you and I have moved on and so have you. So tell me how someone so cruel can still consume you?
So many people see me as aloof, but the truth be told I have the deepest  soul and a heart of gold and even with all the damage you caused I still care for you. I hear you are really sick now and some how I can’t stop worrying wishing I could be there for you . You don’t deserve it and I should hate you but here I am praying and sending healing thoughts to you. Now ask me about loyalty and being true. That’s depth and that’s heart something I never received from you.

Weekly Photo Challenge

One Love- My love for the Rockies

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The Rockies In Idaho

The Rockies call me
The salt and pepper rocks sing
Inside me is nature

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The Rockies in Idaho Falls

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The Rockies and Snake River

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The Rockies in Wyoming

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The Rockies in Wyoming

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The Rockies Eldora National Forest California

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The Rockies Eldora National Forest California

California and the states that got me there

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As I travel through the  west I am mesmerized, the mountains ,the open prairies and fields. So much untouched country and I find myself imaging cowboys and Indians and in some strange sensation I feel home,as if I belong here or I’ve been here before.

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Growing up I was always drawn to and fascinated by the civil war era. I would do hours of research for school reports on anything from President Lincoln to Billy the Kid and gold mining. I was hooked on Little House on the Prarie and Gunsmoke and I  honestly never understood any of it as I just considered myself a history buff.
I moved to North Dakota last year and I felt the same way, I felt home. The rolling hills the beautiful winding rivers and untouched country was so alluring and addicting. I love to fish and fish I did every chance I got. Unfortunately the people weren’t so pleasant as I was an outsider so full of life and I didn’t fit in there.

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Until last month the farthest west I had been was Montana and Texas. I had dreamed of California since I was a teenager and when I got there it was a dream come true. It was so damn beautiful, the green green hills and mountains I never imagined how beautiful it could be. San Francisco was one of the places we went and that was one of the cities I had longed to see and it was amazing. The hills the houses the bay. I only got to see a portion of the Golden Gate bridge,but I was there and I was so excited.

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We drove through the Eldora National Forest and we were at least 9000 feet up into the avalanche area and it was the most beautiful scenery I have ever scene. But hands down I’d if I were to ever move there it would be Wilts, it is the doorway to the redwoods and it is such a hippie town (right up my ally) the people ,the shops the beauty. The pictures speak for themselves as I got to see Utah,Nevada,Arizona ,Idaho, Washington and Oregon. Yes I got to see the whole west coast in less than a month and it was everything I ever imagined it would be and more.

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Kill Joys

Kill joys those people so unhappy with themselves,their lives,their choices and life in general. Those people who see another person happy, full of joy living their life unapologetically. They see those who are fulfilling their dreams and doing what makes them happy so they have to destroy it or try. Misery loves company and when those people can’t find their own happiness they will use all their energy attempting to kill your joy. 

Now don’t get me wrong I am not judging anyone. I am simply stating facts as I am guilty of being that unhappy kill joy myself during my darkest hours. Fortunately, I changed and healed. No matter how much darkness I experience or how many people try to kill my joy, I stay in my faith and refuse to allow myself to be lowered into their negativity.

I have made a lot of bad decisions in my life. I have many things I’ve done I am not proud of. Do I regret any of them? No I don’t. I am who I am today because of them  and I learned from them. I will not apologize for them and I will not let them define who I am as No-one on earth  could understand the things that I endured and that led me to those situations. Mistakes are just that mistakes, I am human. 

I am brave ,strong and beautiful. My heart is pure and good, I love with all my heart, I am generous and trusting and haven’t let those experiences bad or good change who I am at the core. 

I am living my dreams ,I have paid my dues and then some and I have so many experiences that when I die , they will never be able to say I didn’t live, love or experience life to the fullest. 

I might slide into death bruised ,scarred, battered and beaten, but never ever defeated!!!!! Go find your own Joy and Happiness and stop being a Kill Joy!!!!