Dying inside but hanging on with faith!

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The intensity of the vibes around me is surreal I can’t explain it quite yet but it’s overwhelming to say the very least the constant buzzing around my ears.I’ve been reading up on and learning about arch angels and angel guides and the possibility of the gift of clairaudience.

I’ve always felt the presence and protection as I have lost all my parents and grandparents and have had so many close calls.Three years ago when I got divorced I also got baptized and became very spiritual. Although I’ve lost my way a few times over the last few years the one thing that brings me complete peace and comfort is talking to my higher power and my angels.

I can always  feel their presence as I am constantly healing emotionally,physically and spiritually. The way I see it, you have to believe in something and life is to short to be miserable. Whenever I loose my positive outlook or negative energy attachs to me the only thing that helps are my angels.

I have recently sunk deep. I drove a truck in the ditch and I honestly thought I was a gonner. It has literally taken  all the Life inside me because I’m trying to shake it off and go with the flow of thing’s. I’m Trying so hard to overcome the anxiety  from a couple weeks ago .

I guess noone gets it. I don’t expect them too its my problem. Just wish I had someone who wasn’t going through their own shit. Trying to believe in something greater and higher is not easy. Putting complete trust in something you can’t touch or see yet totally completely have faith. I’ve done this my whole life why is it so bard to do with someone I can see, touch feel and love.
Experience that’s why . I’m so afraid to let Go…cuz I’m not sure I can handle the crash. Such a big part of me  does yet this crazy girl who has done more dangerous shit than evil  K can’t let a feeling go. That shit is more dangerous to me than any physical pain. It affects me so deeply it feels like I’m paralysed.

My heart has been broken so many times and so many ways I can’t even count. Over and over I give my heart my trust and every time I get hurt and I get used or played or taken for granted. I admit there has been times in my life when I’ve made the wrong choices and picked the bad boy or known asshole against everyone’s advice.

I know what I am told but I’m so protective of myself anymore it seems like an impossible mission. I feel myself detaching daily and it’s painful. I am so tired of getting attached and close and then having to walk away.  But I’m giving it  to God and my angels because they never fail me never abandon me.

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The Big Easy: one more checked off my bucket list!!

The big easy,oh how I had longed to experience Mardi Gras.Finally a couple very good friends and I decided to take a quick trip to Nola. To my luck it ended up being on my 43ed Birthday and was I ever excited.
We flew out of Detroit cold as could be and when we arrived in New Orleans it had to be 70 degreess and oh how that sunshine felt on my body. Winter blues had beaten all three of us down, we were all going through some major life crisis,so this was exactly what we all needed. We got the rental car and headed to the motel and on our way the weather changed so quickly we found ourselves in a tornado warning and the rain was coming down. The wind was blowing at least 20 miles an hour,we were disappointed as we were trying  to escape the crappy weather from our home state Michigan.
We decided to stop at Walmart to get something to drink and look at souvenirs. while we were in the checkout, a African American couple behind us were bickering and the next thing  I know I am being shoved by a grocery cart as the lady says “see what you made me do” .. I was shocked as I had overheard their whole conversation and she was reaming him out because he was checking me out and it just continued to escalate. I just wanted to hurry up and get out of there as this was our first encounter with locals and it made me very nervous.
As we walk out of the store I tell my girls “OMG everywhere I go I get in trouble”,then I explained what they were bickering about and we all laughed and headed to the hotel .
When we arrived at the Hotel my friend was trying to PArk under the carport but there were some guys parked there and she cussed them out for not moving up. We went up to our room and as we’re

getting

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ready to head to the French quarter we smell a strong oder we are very familiar with, oh yeah MARY JANE….ahh..we were stoked since we couldn’t bring anything on the plane.
My friend went up to the guy and asked if he had an extra doobie that it was my birthday and we were hoping to find some. The guy was awesome and he gave us a bud and said Happy Birthday!! How lucky was that ,the weather wasn’t cooperating,but not even an hour in Nola and we had some weed.Hell yeah,Happy Birthday to me!!!

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Just a silly girl in a silly world!

I honestly don’t know exactly what I am dong,but I love to write and I love to share my crazy adventures and experiences. Some are amazing and some have been tough,but I’m a survivor with a Gypsy/Hippie soul and I love to make people laugh and I like to be a sounding board when someone is going through tough times. So with that being said I’m just winging it and we will see what happens!

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